Where to find help

If things are very hard for you right now

You don’t have to go through this alone. I survived because in the end I reached out for help. You can too.

• 116 123Samaritans (UK and Ireland) - free, day and night, for anyone who is strugglingsamaritans.org
• 988988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (USA) - call or text, day and night988lifeline.org
• Find A HelplineFree, confidential helplines in your country - wherever you are.findahelpline.com
• 112 · 911If someone’s life is in danger - call emergency services right away.

What really helped me

This isn’t advice. It’s simply my road - maybe something from it will be of use to you.

• People after a similar loss. A few meetings at eMOCja, a bereavement support centre in Poland. With them I didn’t have to explain anything.
• People at my back. Family and friends. They didn’t say much - but they were there. I knew that if I fell, someone would pick me up.
• Talking to her. Her photo in the bedroom, “good morning” in the morning and “good night” in the evening. Sometimes I felt I was going crazy. But it eased the longing.
• Movement, when my head couldn’t cope. Walking, weights. My body worked while my thoughts stood still.
• Creating. Words, songs, images. That’s how I let out what couldn’t be said.
• The road. The first trip without her was the hardest - and it turned out to be the breakthrough.
• Accepting the ups and downs. A better day doesn’t mean it’s all over. A worse one doesn’t mean it was all for nothing.

And one more thing: I made peace with the fact that there are things that, at some point, are no longer in our control.

It was as it was meant to be.